And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
there is puke in my bra ... again
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
