Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
