Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
