you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
