CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
