you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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