oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
