Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
