is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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