You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
