i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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