we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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