How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
