Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
