Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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