does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
PANTIES FOUND
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