Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
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