I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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