Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
What drink are we having for lunch?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
