you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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