That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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