Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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