Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
