She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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