SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
