When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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