Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
