if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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