So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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