God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
