first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
