Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
