Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
When did angry sex become our thing?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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