this will be a night to untag.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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