You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize