Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
