So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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