Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize