guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
