I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
