420 ftw
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize