i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
