he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
