guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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