i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
