my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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