My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
