I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
you are never too drunk for berry picking
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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