Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
