Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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