Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Dignity is for republicans.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
