Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My pussy is not your playground.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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