STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
