I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
