My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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