Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
