I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The adults are the big ones right?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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