Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
