we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
