So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I wish i was in the wii world.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize