she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
