everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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