the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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