if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
