your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
