shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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